“Orion Way” Table Table – Glasgow

Don’t get me wrong, when we walked into the Rutherglen branch of Table Table yesterday I was not expecting a five star restaurant experience, but the whole thing was pretty much a disaster from start to finish. We’ve eaten in other branches of the chain, which operate alongside Premier Inn, before, so when we needed to stop and have a quick bite to eat before I headed to work,  we were all happy enough to make use of the nearby restaurant.

When we entered the restaurant we were the only people in the place, although within minutes of us sitting down three or four other groups also arrived. The waitress took our drinks order – two diet cokes and a still water – and left us to look at the menu. The drinks arrived and she gave us a few more minutes to decide – in which time I opened my water only to realise she had brought me sparkling instead. Not a huge disaster, but not a good start. When the waitress returned she apologetically replaced the bottle and took our order – Classic Beef Burger with BBQ Sauce and Battered Onion Rings for mum, Pea Risotto with added Grilled Chicken Breast for me, and Beef Lasagne for dad. It was at this point we were informed that, although my risotto should come with garlic bread, they had run out. How a restaurant can run out of garlic bread at 1 o’clock I don’t know – pop out to the local supermarket and buy some if you have to! I wasn’t hugely bothered by this – garlic bread before work might not have been the best idea anyway. We also ordered two sides – coleslaw and a portion of onion rings. I berated dad for this choice – was there not going to be enough food on the table – but they ended up proving useful.

For a quiet restaurant the food was fairly slow to arrive, and when it eventually did there were only more problems in store. Burger, risotto and onion rings arrived alongside the roast beef dinner – clearly interchangeable with lasagne in the eyes of our waitress. She went to check the kitchen and it became obvious that no lasagne had ever been cooked. Mum and I were forced to eat as the prospect of cold food didn’t really appeal to us, but by then the whole mood had soured. We had also had to enquire after the coleslaw, which had not arrived with the rest of the food. The onion rings here proved their worth – dad was starving and given his extra long wait for his lunch he needed them to stave off the mounting hunger.

Mum and I ate our meals as slowly as humanly possible, made difficult by the fact that, the colder my risotto got, the more stodgy it became. The general flavour was fine, but it was a heavy, sticky risotto and I wouldn’t want to eat it again. Mum’s burger was good if pretty average, although the tomato relish that accompanied it was very nice. Eventually dad was served a bubbling dish of lasagne and chunky chips, and while they both looked nice dad was less than thrilled. He complained that the lasagne was very heavy on the basil, to the extent that it was overpowering. He also failed to finish the chips, but perhaps this was due to the onion rings he had previously scoffed.

The pretty average food wasn’t helped by the atmosphere – none of us were in a particularly good mood after the whole lasagne debacle and the incessant grovelling of the waitress was really getting on our nerves. The baby who wouldn’t stop crying, despite her parents best efforts, didn’t really help either. The waitress did attempt to redeem herself by ensuring that the lasagne wasn’t on the bill, and we were also offered tea or coffee on the house, an offer we did not accept.

As we were leaving, mum and I popped to the toilet and were served one last moment of unhappiness. The cubicles in the toilet were not small, but getting into them proved difficult and we really had to squeeze past the doors.

Honestly, there’s not much more I can say in regards to this visit, except that we quite obviously wont be returning.

Table Table – Website

Table Table – Facebook

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